In the last post on the new State of Our Unions (SOU) report from the National Marriage Project we read that “the benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children”. Parents who were very generous with each other were more likely to be very happy as well. But there’s more. Generosity in having children is also part of the happiness equation. Read more…
“I hope this will be a great success. It is certainly needed!”
~Bishop Cordileone 12/4/11~
Divorce Prevention 101:
Healing Hurts & Finding Love that Lasts!
Several local parishes have decided it’s time to do something about the divorce rate within our Catholic community. And Bishop Cordileone agrees. In fact, you’ll see his full endorsement in the attached release… Read more…
An item about generosity in marriage is getting some play on the New York Times Well blog today. Tara Parker- Pope reports on the 2011 State of Our Unions report just out from the National Marriage Project.
Says the Times: Read more…
By KATHERINE ROSMAN
An invaluable source of DIY marital therapy is spending a little time in the presence of what I classify as “epic marriages”—those whose length seems to have intensified not merely the love but the camaraderie between the husband and wife.
Avoid making comparisons, even if you think they are accurate. Statements like, “I would never do a thing like that to you,” will not win you any points. Your spouse won’t believe you. Besides, you are not likely to be making sound judgements when your adrenalin is flowing. Read more…
from Rome Reports
If your marriage were a sport, which one would it be and why? It may seem like an odd question, but it definitely leads to interesting answers. In the video above people say:
Oh, what sport? Basketball. Read more…
Admit you were wrong. Owning up to your own imperfection allows you to be human. Your spouse has an opportunity to forgive you, and to connect with you, as one frail, fragile, imperfect, blundering human being to another. Read more…
This was an E-mail of the Day at Dr. Laura’s site–advice I can use, myself!
My husband and I are celebrating 40 years of marriage. People ask us how we’ve done it and we both agree, it’s the morning kiss goodbye. Sounds strange I know, but it’s the time we connect and commit every day and make a silent promise to be there for each other. Here is a poem I wrote about it: Read more…
by Anne Morse (no relation)
The signs are encouraging.
Thirty years ago this July, I stayed up to watch the fairy-tale wedding between a shy young pre-school teacher and the prince of Wales. Fifteen years, two children, and considerable adultery later, the fairy tale had fractured beyond repair.
This Friday, Charles and Diana’s elder son, William, 28, will marry Catherine Middleton, 29 — and such is the cynicism about royal marriages these days that bookies are already taking bets on when the royal divorce will occur. Read more…
via Carolyn Moynihan
These tips from Yahoo Canada’s “Shine” pages make pretty good sense — especially in the wake of the British royal wedding.
Accept each other. Aim for “good enough”. When the other wants to make up, accept. Accept that the grass on the other side of the fence only seems greener.Laugh a lot. Read the fine print here.
I wanted to revisit the article on Hume’s defense of marriage. There was some good stuff buried deep in the link:
Contrary to what some romantics may think, marital happiness and conjugal human love cannot be sustained by amorous or infatuating passions, Hume says, since they are by nature unstable and fleeting. “Amorous love,” he says, “is a restless and impatient passion, full of caprices and variations—arising in a moment from a feature, from an air, from nothing, and suddenly extinguishing after the same manner.” Whatever its value may be, no marriage can be sustained by it. Read more…
By B.J. and Sheila Weber
Given the failure of marriages which were previously deemed unbreakable (think royal), we offer the following 7 tips, which are hardly inclusive of everything one needs to know, but can help couples get out of the starting gate on better footing.
1. Expect Challenges Read more…
from The Heritage Foundation
Marriage in popular culture has experienced its share of ups and downs, mostly the latter, in recent years. The decline of marriage has even spread to middle America, once the bedrock of healthy relationships and stable families. Men and women now increasingly forego the benefits of marriage for unstable cohabiting relationships and increasing numbers of children are born outside marriage. Despite these daunting challenges to rekindling positive popular attitudes toward marriage, the fight to restore the honor and stability of lifelong, married love is far from over. Read more…
As part of a “Sustainable Life” guide to a “healthier, happier 2011″ the Times has published a piece headed, “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage”.
Really? Yes, really, says Tara Parker-Pope.
The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first?
Too right it’s counter-intuitive. And it doesn’t help to decorate this idea with a beautiful metaphor: Read more…
In their minds, that is.
Our side considers legalizing same sex marriage to be a redefinition of marriage. We try to persuade people that redefining marriage would be harmful. But I have noticed that many people who favor ssm have ALREADY mentally redefined it. In their minds, marriage is only about adult relationships, with children as optional, for sure, and sometimes with permanence and fidelity as optional as well.
Since marriage is already just about adults, they can’t understand what the fuss is all about. Why not just include same sex couples in this more or less pointless vestigial social institution called marriage? They can’t understand why the legal system doesn’t catch up with the image of marriage they are already carrying around in their heads.
They don’t see that by continually defining marriage down, we are making marriage less and less able to perform its intended and necessary social function of attaching mothers and fathers to their children and to each other. And they don’t seem to see that having a functional next generation is in everyone’s interest.
Be gracious when your spouse apologizes to you. “Thank you for your apology. I really appreciate you saying that to me.”
Doesn’t that come off even nicer than, “Apology accepted”? And especially more than “See, I told you I was right!” Get in the habit of accepting others’ defeat graciously, as well as your own!
This is a bit of a switch.
By Marianne Medlin
Denver, Colo., Nov 20, 2010 / 07:07 am (CNA).- Marriage and family experts argued against media coverage of a recent study that claims a large numbers of Americans view marriage as obsolete. Rather than endorse a negative interpretation of the figures, the experts argued that the same study shows the majority of young people today still want to get married. Read more…
Peep.
One of our critics suggested that NOM criticizes marriage abolition via redefinition but makes “not a peep” about divorce. This is, obviously, not true. It’s about to get still more laughably untrue with this post about the effects of divorce on happiness. Peep. Read more…
by William C. Duncan, director of the Marriage Law Foundation, and a Ruth Institute Board Member.
Each November, our family puts up a blank poster board on which each member of the family can list the things they are grateful for. The list ranges from the confident handwriting of my wife to the shakier marks of the younger children who are tracing something written by an older sibling or parent (mine is closer to the latter). I have not see the phrase “lifelong love” on that poster, but it is always implicit—when “mom and dad” are listed or when my wife and I write each other’s names or when the brothers and sisters list each other. Our family is thankful for lifelong love. Read more…
Here’s a good interview by the authors of a good book.
http://www.pjtv.com/?cmd=mpg&mpid=109
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