We have cold cereal for breakfast almost every morning. The names of the different brands of cereal have gotten lost in toddler translation. One of our three-year-old’s favorites is “Honey Bunches of Oats”, but when we ask her what she’d like to eat she says… Keep reading.
“Mom, kids run faster than grown ups,” my five-year-old daughter announced to me.
“I don’t think that’s true,” I replied.
“It is true because at bed time, I tell Daddy, ‘Whoever gets to my room first gets to get in my bed,’ and… Keep reading.
When my son was about six years old, he attended a prayer meeting with my mom and me for our American Italian Club. Everyone had an opportunity to mention their intention, and my son decided he wanted to pray for his grandma, who was there with us. My mom was smiling with pride until he added, “Cause, you know, she… Keep reading.
I was in the supermarket doing some food shopping. I turned my back for a second while I picked up a cooked chicken. When I turned around my four-year-old was stroking a fresh fish on the counter.
“Why were you stroking the fish?” I asked her.
She replied, “I wanted to see if it was real.”
“Was it real?” I asked.
“No,” she answered.
“I think it was,” I said.
“No, it wasn’t because I… Keep reading.
Have you all… Pardon me, y’all. Or better yet, yins, heard that Jeff Foxworthy joke: “You might be a redneck if you mow your lawn and find your car”? (Now you have. You’re welcome.)
Well, it might be time to vacuum your carpet if in it you find six bodies, a hatchet, and a piece of pie. Keep reading.
When my daughter was about two, she went to the freezer and took out the 1/2 gallon container of ice cream and put it on the counter. Too tired to deal with the situation properly, I simply asked, “Would you like a bowl?” She responded, Read the rest of this entry →
Lucy, four-years-old: “My lips are wiggly.” Me: “Why are they wiggly?” L: “Because they’re sticking out.” Me: “Why are they sticking out?” L: “Because they’re getting old.” Overhearing too many of her parents’ conversations, perhaps?
I gave each of my three girls, ages six, four, and 19 months, a little hot chocolate. The oldest said, “It doesn’t taste very good to me, but the kids like it.” 
We were watching something live on the computer. My seven-year-old asked, “Can you fast forward it?” And then later,… Keep reading.
I was babysitting five little kids. Their mom came home and we were talking for a bit. She then went to get her purse and couldn’t find it. As she was going down the hall to her bedroom, I heard her yell. Seems she looked in the bathroom door on her way by and there Read the rest of this entry →
While sitting with some other moms at my son’s baptism reception, one of them alerted me to the fact that the kids were playing with a doll–a gender specific doll. A group of little girls were giggling while watching my seven-year-old daughter make her male doll… Keep reading.
I have a theory that good kids are just saving up their badness for high school. That seems to be what happened with my son, who had always been a good boy. Then, when he was a senior, he kind of went nuts.
There was a party he really wanted to go to. Because the circumstances were shady, i.e. I was given few details and was, we’ll say, highly discouraged from calling the mother of the friend whose house the party would be at, I forbade him to go.
Naturally, he was displeased. So, on the night in question, when I discovered he had left the house, I called his cell phone. Amazingly, he answered, and I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to turn around this instant. You know the drill. But what happened next was something neither of us could have predicted.
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