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Posts Tagged ‘parenting is funny’

That MUST be it!

August 16th, 2014 No comments

My four-year-old saw a bird through the window screen. Somehow this elicited from her a very loud, very off-key rendition of the chorus from Frozen’s “Let it go.”

“The bird is not flying away,” she pauses to tell me.

“Maybe it likes your singing,” I suggest.

“Maybe it likes ‘Let it go,’” she tells me.

“That could be,” I say, and she keeps singing for all she’s worth. Finally, Read more…

And there was great rejoicing in the land!

August 9th, 2014 Comments off

When one of the children loses a tooth, it is a very big deal. Not because they think, “Yea, I’m becoming a big girl!” or even “Cha-ching! Come on, Tooth Fairy!” But because it means a whole lot less whining going on around here.

Initially the loose tooth is an exciting topic of conversation, meriting daily, if not more frequent,  updates as in, “My tooth is a little wiggly!… I can move it back and forth!… Now I can move it left to right! See!” (open mouth shoved in face.) “Now I can touch the bottom of it with my tongue!…It’s hanging by a thread!”

You would think by the time we’ve reached that last level of development we’re sitting pretty, but no, that stage lasts about a week. These children will keep that tooth in there as though their lives depend on it. Why? Clearly they aren’t motivated by greed. They don’t worry they’ll have nothing to talk about once the tooth is gone. They’re not even concerned about diminished chewing quality when one tooth down. Nope. It’s the simple fear of pain.

Here’s where I go from being World’s Greatest Mom to, uh, something a little closer to the opposite extreme. Let me explain. Read more…

Best kid quote of the day

August 2nd, 2014 Comments off
The girls are arguing over who gets to sit where in the bathtub. My oldest announced, “I always sit there for certain reasons that are needed in life!”

What?!

I couldn’t help but laugh, and she looked at me like, “What did I say?”

I would have asked her to elaborate, but I had to quickly run off and type this in. And to tell my husband, so we could enjoy the chuckle together.

Read more funny parenting moments here.

You were thirsty and I gave you…eh, nevermind

July 4th, 2014 Comments off

We had two cubic yards of dirt delivered and dumped next to our driveway. I immediately got to work with a shovel and wheelbarrow, transporting the dirt all the way around to the side of the house where I needed it. It was a hot day and tiring work. My seven and five-year-old daughters were skipping along at my heels, to and fro. Finally I stopped, wiped my brow and said, “This is hard work. I could use some cold water.” My daughters immediately looked at each other with an expression of sudden inspiration. “We should help Dad!” one declared to the other, who answered with a nod. As I began to smile with satisfaction at my thoughtful, charitable little girls, my face suddenly fell as, instead of running inside for a glass of cool liquid refreshment, they each grabbed fistfuls of dirt and began carrying them around the house.

-Paul, father of 3

Read more funny parenting stories here.

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

July 4th, 2014 Comments off

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

 

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. Read more…

What a charmer

July 3rd, 2014 Comments off

As I was getting dressed one morning, my two-year-old daughter walked in and said, “Oh, you’re so pretty, Mommy.”

I replied, “Awh, thank you, Baby. Sometimes Mommy doesn’t feel pretty.”

After a long pause she said, “Then I guess you’re right,” and walked out the door.

-Trish, mother of 3

Read more funny parenting stories.

And there was much rejoicing in the land!

July 2nd, 2014 Comments off

When one of the children loses a tooth, it is a very big deal. Not because they think, “Yea, I’m becoming a big girl!” or even “Cha-ching! Come on, Tooth Fairy!” But because it means a whole lot less whining going on around here.

Initially the loose tooth is an exciting topic of conversation, meriting daily, if not more frequent,  updates as in, “My tooth is a little wiggly!… I can move it back and forth!… Now I can move it left to right! See!” (open mouth shoved in face.) “Now I can touch the bottom of it with my tongue!…It’s hanging by a thread!” Read more…

Miscellaneous Silliness

June 25th, 2014 Comments off

Phrases you never imagined you’d ever say…and then you became a parent:

“No, do not put Jesus in your yogurt.” (from Rebecca, mother of 3) Read more…

Today I did my part to save the world

June 21st, 2014 Comments off

There was a bee on the window screen. Naturally, I wanted it to stay on the screen and to not fly around the house. Seeing it, my children would no doubt freak out and start climbing up the chimney to get away. So I did what any sensible woman would do in this situation: I quickly shut the window and went about my business. I figured I could just “wait the bee out.” Read more…

This woman is my hero!

June 12th, 2014 Comments off

My friend writes on facebook: “I feel like I’ve made a parenting breakthrough. The fastest way to get people to stop fighting is to give them a common enemy, and there’s no better enemy for a bickering two- and four-year-old than a mother with a dart gun.”

I wish she was my neighbor. I have so much to learn.

Read more funny parenting stories here.