Ruth Institute Blog

There are a few more podcasts up for your listening pleasure–one from our recent “It Takes a Family” conference, and the other two are interviews of Dr J on Issues, Etc.

Dr J gave the opening talk at ITAF 2010; entitled Marriage and Freedom in Society, it discusses what marriage does for society and some of the consequences (especially those relating to children) if we choose to dissolve or weaken it.  Some of the areas she covers include divorce law, state intervention, and parenthood.

The two Issues, Etc interviews discuss the response to Judge Walker’s attitude about the Prop 8 case (Shot in the Arm…or the Foot?) and another group of Mama Grizzlies, this one opposed to Sarah Palin (Sarah Palin vs. Mama Grizzlies).  Dr J’s exposition on the arrogance of both subjects is excellent.

This is a refreshing headline. Family time is important for good mental health, especially family dinners, which would be totally cramped by sports.

By SUE SHELLENBARGER

Mark Breier sees big benefits for his three sons in playing sports. But when his teenage son Travis, dreaming of a pro career, wanted to join an elite traveling basketball team in junior-high school, Mr. Breier said no. Read more…

My basic summary of this article? “Waaaaaaa!” -Parents

by Carolyn Moynihan

I have never been a fan of Time, so the recent news that the magazine is withdrawing a lot of free content from its online version did not cost me one wink of sleep. But this week’s cover story promoting the one-child family as the new American family model annoyed me — at least, what I read of it from other sources as well as the summary Time published online.

What’s at issue here is not how many children any particular couple have, which is their own business, but the suggestion that society as a whole has outgrown the need for more than one, or at least the ability to afford a bigger family. Read more…

by Colin Mason

Cyril Connolly once said that “there is no more somber enemy of good art than the pram in the hallway.” Connelly is here suggesting that the distractions implicit in rearing a child will undercut an artist’s attempt to create, so children are to be avoided insofar as possible.

I have long believed that Connelly is wrong in opposing children to art. So I was pleasantly surprised, recently, to see my view validated by Frank Cottrell Boyce, a successful British screenwriter, novelist and actor. Boyce’s article, entitled “The Parent Trap: Art After Children” and appearing in Britain’s Guardian, makes the case that children, far from inhibiting or destroying an artist’s creativity, are actually a creative boon. He has this to say about fatherhood and art:

What is “me”, if not the sum of all my relationships and obligations? A customer, that’s what. The more you give, the more you are. Think of Chekhov, with his patients and his crowds of dependent relatives, whose living room became such a public space that he had to put up no smoking signs. His advice to young writers was “travel third class”. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s was to “buy carrots and turnips” … Read more…

Dr J is on NOM’s Summer Marriage Tour for the next several days–she’ll be traveling down the Eastern seaboard, meeting new people, and giving short talks in each city at which the bus stops.  These talks will soon be available on our podcast page, but in the meantime, they’re available here.

In her first 10-minute talk (delivered July 14 in Augusta, Maine), Dr J answers the question “What is the essential purpose of marriage?”
Click here to listen!
Augusta, Maine

It’s so true. Many studies have proven the lasting value of family meals on children especially, including improved test scores and health, and decreasing the chances of drug and alcohol abuse.

by Sheila Liaugminas

I have few T-shirts with words or pictures on them, preferring simple solid colors instead. But there’s one I couldn’t resist, and my family loves it….the blue one with a drawing of a little house and a family sitting around a dinner table with the caption “Value Meal”. I wore it on Father’s Day evening at the family table in the rare instance that we were all together. The value of that goes deeper than we think we know…

A few years ago, Time magazine did a fine piece on ‘The Family Meal’ that so captured my attention, I’ve shared it in print and on radio time and again to reinforce the message. Read more…

W. Bradford Wilcox

I have a lot of respect for Pamela Paul. So it pains me to say that her new piece in The Atlantic, “Are Fathers Necessary?”, gets it wrong, and in two very big ways. The gist of her argument is that sociologists Timothy Biblarz and Judith Stacey are right in claiming that fathers play no essential role in the lives of their children. Or, in their words, ”based strictly on the published science, one could argue that two women parent better on average than a woman and a man…” Read more…

Thumbs up from me for this article.

Social science may suggest that kids drain their parents’ happiness, but there’s evidence that good parenting is less work and more fun than people think. Bryan Caplan makes the case for having more children.

By BRYAN CAPLAN

Amid the Father’s Day festivities, many of us are privately asking a Scroogely question: “Having kids—what’s in it for me?” An economic perspective on happiness, nature and nurture provides an answer: Parents’ sacrifice is much smaller than it looks, and much larger than it has to be. Read more…

New podcast!  Drew Mariani interviews Dr J on his radio show about Fathers’ Day, the president’s speech commemorating same, homosexual parenting, and the oft-mentioned Pediatrics study championing lesbian parenting.  Listen here.

Fathers’ Day and Homosexual Parenting

We’ve been talking about this study a lot lately, and now there’s a podcast about it here.  Dr J appears on Issues, Etc to discuss the shoddy science and the gratuitous potshots contained therein.

Just in Time for Father’s Day…

Good stuff to keep in mind for parents of teenagers. Heidi (one of our blog followers) being one, what do you think?

by Katie Hinderer

Last week’s post about attire and the male versus female mind has drawn a lot of comments. (I love hearing what you have to say, so keep the thoughts coming.) All the discussion got me thinking about where the solution can be found. I was toying with the role parents’ play when Carlos hit the nail on the head; saying girls “need strong fathers to say NO and strong mothers to explain why!!” Read more…

As a very experienced daddy, let me let you in on a little secret.  Having a bunch of little kids running around your house is often a bit of a drag.  Occasionally, having the kids around is quite a lot of a drag.  And occasionally the kids’ll warm your heart.  But as parents become more experienced, they probably can’t help noticing that business of the kids being a drag. Read more…

Basically the gist of this article is that parents don’t spend enough time with their kids, and kids would like to spend more time with their parents. I suspect that many social ills would lose popularity if families spent more time together.

Here are my two favorite paragraphs, followed by the rest of the article:

There was a significant and rather sad gap between UK parents and children over the importance of family integrity. Only 51 per cent of parents agreed that, to have the best opportunities in life, a child needs a father and mother under the same roof, but three quarters of children did. Slightly more children (55 per cent) thought it was important that their parents were married than parents in general did (52 per cent). Read more…

Michelle Obama has lectured the nation on childhood obesity.  It probably won’t shock you that her proposed solutions involve government action.

However, I would suggest a different solution– marriage and active child rearing by biological parents.  This article discusses some of the causes of childhood obesity.  The causes it discusses are less politically correct than blaming McDonalds and the Coca Cola Corporation.

Today, large numbers of elementary school kids are getting themselves ready for school without a parent. When my wife substituted at our son’s elementary school in California, kids were showing up at school with donuts for breakfast—because both parents had left the house hours earlier, expecting their kids to make their own way. After school, too many elementary school kids are returning to empty homes, and eating for comfort. I recall when my wife and I were out looking at houses Read more…

This part cracks me up: The woman in charge of the sex ed program was upset saying that they had to “kow-tow to parents.” Oh, please forgive parents for caring what their children learn on the topic! She acts as though parents are idiots and know nothing. Well, they ARE parents.

by Brian Lilley

A government plan for explicit sex-ed gets shut down by parents.

Parents are the primary educators of their children. While this may seem to be a rather mundane statement, it is becoming radical in many parts of the world. Yet last week parents rose up to tell the politicians, experts and bureaucrats that run Ontario’s education system that they had had enough and a strange thing happened; the parents won the day. Read more…

I’m glad to hear there poll results. I fully agree. I’m a stay-at-home mother of three, and I work part-time. Win-win-win. (I win, my children win, and my boss wins.)

by Bill Muehlenberg

A brand new survey of what women really want concerning paid maternity leave is most revealing. Contrary to the usual line that basically all women want a paid career, with perhaps family thrown in on the side, this new Australian poll finds overwhelming support for the importance of stay-at-home mothering. Read more…

As a mom I’d say it’s because we’re thinking more of homicide. Oh, just kidding!

by Carolyn Moynihan

One of the topics that came up at the Barcelona conference on low fertility was the question of whether parenthood brings happiness to adults; the evidence so far seems uncertain. This week, however, there is solid evidence reported in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in favour of motherhood, if not fatherhood. Read more…

Having a newborn around is hard.  Seriously.  They’re a real drag.  (You’ll have to pardon my bluntness and lack of humor today, I was up at 4:30 in the morning engaged in what I’m about to teach you).

But there is a way to stop the incessant crying.  Ozzy Therapy.  You see, babies LOVE heavy metal music. Witness.

For babies, when it is time to party, they will party hard.

If you have or are about to have a newborn but no heavy metal CD’s on hand, permit me to recommend this site.  The music is free and legal (it’s put up by the musician himself).  If you don’t think that songs like “Party Till You Puke” are appropriate for newborns, then you probably don’t yet realize just how much newborns like to spit up.

Tips-Q bills itself as “GLBT News & Commentary – Neither Lifestyle Nor Agenda”. It’s interesting (sometimes even amusing) to surf the site for a perspective of their views and attitudes. (Be sure to look in the Talking Points drop-down menu at their Fundie to English Dictionary.)

Recently they alerted their site’s followers to an article by Dr. J (PERSPECTIVES: Gay Men Only?) published on the Chuck Colson Center site.

Way to go Dr. J! If you’re becoming notorious with folks who would like to undermine marriage, you must be doing something right.

Not to mention the A.D.H.D., the obesity, the lack of creative thought factors.

by Carolyn Moynihan

Art imitates life and research imitates common sense, it seems. A new study has found that the more young people watch television, the poorer their relationships with both their friends and parents. Read more…