Archive

Archive for the ‘Divorce’ Category

Four Christmases: The Superstition of Divorce

December 16th, 2014 No comments

A superstition is something we believe in spite of the evidence, because we like the way it makes us feel.

For example: “I can solve all my problems if I could just divorce my spouse, and try again to find the Perfect Soulmate.”Four_Christmases-Movie_Poster

Do you remember the movie, Four Christmases, the Reese Witherspoon, Vince Vaughn Christmas movie from 2008?  The premise of this movie is that Reese and Vince have 4 Christmases: one with each one of their divorced and remarried parents.  I wrote a column about this film when it came out.

Popular culture has a way of reflecting the anxieties and ambiguities of our age, sometimes without quite meaning to. Christmas 2008’s bit of holiday eye candy, Four Christmases, illustrates the anxiety around insecure relationships, across the generations. The title comes from the visits that a happily unmarried yuppie couple must make to their two sets of divorced parents. But the movie could be called The Superstitions of Divorce. It strips away the lies we tell ourselves to justify our rejection of one another….

Not a one of these first three parents has learned a thing from their divorces. Boyfriend and Girlfriend are not deceived by their parents’ efforts to absolve themselves: They still have the same problems and crazy behavior. The new love interest doesn’t solve their problems.

Another superstition: “The kids will be fine as long as their parents are happy. Kids are resilient.”

Social science can now tell us for certain that this is untrue, as can millions of children of divorce who are now old enough to speak for Read more…

Print Friendly

Rethinking the Blended Family

December 11th, 2014 No comments

As somebody who was raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations, the phrase “blended family” has always reminded me of a blender.  Yes, a literal blender, like this:

Read more…

Print Friendly

Children of Divorce and the Holidays: a Stressful Time

December 2nd, 2014 Comments off

InequalityDo you know a child of divorce? Maybe you are divorced and you have children. Maybe you have a young relative or a young neighbor whose parents are divorced. Maybe your child has a friend whose parents are divorced. The holidays can be stressful and chaotic for a young person who must navigate between the two–often shockingly different–worlds of their parents. As a child of divorce myself, I thought it might be helpful to share some thoughts so that readers can understand what these children go through during the holidays.

Sometimes holiday stress can manifest in anger, combativeness, tears, sadness, stubbornness, withdrawal… all of which may seem inappropriate or unjustified to an untrained observer. People might wonder, “Why is this child acting out?”  If you know a child of divorce, please be sensitive to their feelings during the holidays. The holidays may serve as a magnifying glass as to how broken their family feels to them. For example, they might feel very divided. They might not know how to talk about the division they feel. Whether real or imagined, they might not feel like they have permission to talk about it. In point of fact, they might not have permission to talk about it.

Here are some situations that the child of divorce must navigate every holiday season: Read more…

Print Friendly
Categories: Children, Divorce Tags: , ,

Robin Williams’ Divorces, and His Suicide

August 13th, 2014 Comments off

divorce and suicide for menWhen I heard about Robin Williams’ suicide yesterday, I felt shocked. So shocked that it was hard for me to think for several minutes. I kept wondering, “What? Huh? Is this real?” I could not imagine this extremely talented man as being dead. Not only that, but anytime I hear of somebody’s suicide it reminds me of my own father’s death. He also committed suicide, back in 1991.

In the next 24 hours after Williams’ death, my Facebook stream was filled with posts about him. One of these made a reference to an interview Williams did in September 2013, with Parade. In that interview he mentioned his two divorces and the amount of money he lost because of them: Read more…

Print Friendly
Categories: Divorce, suicide Tags: ,

Premature death linked to divorce

August 11th, 2014 Comments off

BY NICOLE M. KING

The News Story – Top 7 worst states for divorce

An ABC News story this week highlighted the top 7 “worst” states for divorce, as indicated by the filing fee, length of minimum separation period, residency requirements, and length of processing period. “Divorce can take an emotional toll on a family,” says ABC, “but the filing and legal process can add another headache in these seven states. Read more…

Print Friendly
Categories: Divorce Tags:

Gender gaps in college linked to divorce rates

August 4th, 2014 Comments off

BY NICOLE M. KING

The News Story – How Dad’s involvement can address the gender gap in higher education

While research has told us that the prevalence of divorce in our society can account for the gender gap within higher education, a recent article in The Huffington Post sheds more light on what the exact causal relation might be. It may not just be the possibility of divorce, itself, that has such an impact on both female and male adolescents, but rather the lack of father involvement in the lives of male children. Read more…

Print Friendly

Are you fighting same-sex marriage but not divorce?

July 10th, 2014 Comments off

Have we been too focused on “same sex marriage” and not focused enough on divorce? I think so. So when I see tweets like these, I can’t help but think, “Yea, you have a point.”

divorce hypocrisy

 

divorce hypocrisy

 

divorce hypocrisy

 

Divorce is a big problem that Christians have not confronted adequately. Thus, we have lost our witness and moral authority in regards to the institution of marriage. At least, that’s how it looks to me. But no need to despair about it, because you can…

Join us as we inspire the survivors of the sexual revolution. This includes people who’ve been divorced as well as children of divorce! It’s easy to get started: sign our petition, download a free e-booklet by signing up for our newsletter, make a tax deductible donation to support our work, or share this article with your friends.

Print Friendly
Categories: Divorce Tags:

Tweeting about the Children of Divorce

July 9th, 2014 Comments off
Life, not just summer, is complicated for children of divorce.

Life, not just summer, is complicated for children of divorce.

Children of divorce are twice as likely to have a stroke.

Children of divorce are twice as likely to have a stroke.

Children of divorce feel anxious.

Children of divorce feel anxious and afraid.

 

twitter child of divorce-4

Children of divorce don’t perform as well in terms of education and health.

 

Children of divorce are more likely to need psychiatric help.

Children of divorce are reliant on psychiatric help.

child of divorce

Sad…

 

Keep those tweets coming! #childrenofdivorce #childofdivorce

Follow the Ruth Institute on Twitter. Click here to make a tax deductible donation to support our work.

Print Friendly
Categories: Children, Children's Rights, Divorce Tags:

The bitter price of divorce

June 30th, 2014 Comments off

This sounds like an excellent film, but even if you don’t manage to see it, reading the commentary here is an eye-opening education in itself of what the divorce industry has really become.

A searing new documentary exposes the human and social cost of tearing families apart.

by Francisco José Pérez Valero
This article and a trailer for the movie was found here.

Divorce Corp, Directed by Joseph Sorge, Narrated by Drew Pinsky.
93 minutes

The dollars and cents of American divorce are the subject of this blunt, realistic film populated by a series of postmodern characters who are afflicted by a series of circumstances they were unprepared to face. The problem has deep roots. America’s family courts were born in the 1950s, in an era of economic boom and social well-being. Their aim was to preserve the right to divorce in extreme circumstances. Read more…

Print Friendly
Categories: Divorce Tags:

To Renee Jacques at HuffPo: your kids and divorce article was callous and one-sided

June 26th, 2014 Comments off

To Renee Jacques at HuffPo,

I came across your article today:

11 Reasons Your Parents’ Divorce Isn’t So Bad After All

The piece is so callous that at first I wondered if you were joking. Then I realized you weren’t joking.

It’s hard to know where to start in my criticism of your piece, so let’s just dive into the middle:

3. You know to never ignore your emotions and to face your feelings. That way, you can make the hard but important decisions in your life.

“You know to never ignore your emotions….” except your emotions about your parent’s divorce and how confusing it is. Those must be ignored at all costs, so that your parents won’t ever feel bad about their choices. If your feelings make them feel bad, this might jeopardize your standing with them since as a child you’re the vulnerable one.

Or how about this:

4. You begin to realize how much your opinion matters to your parents.

“Your opinion matters to your parents…”  except your opinion about their divorce(s), remarriages, and all the Read more…

Print Friendly