The two most hateful, fearful, and odious words in the English language are: potty training.
Even though you’re not on TV or in a movie, you sometimes hear yourself saying, “It’s quiet….Tooooo quiet.” Read more…
When I was little, I, like all little boys (okay, and big boys) hated washing dishes. When it was my turn to clean up after dinner, instead of washing the plates and silverware, I…
Most parents offer their children a piece of candy or a small gift when potty training. Not me. I said, “What do you want, kid? A Cadillac? A trip to Hawaii? I’ll give you anything if you use the potty. Just name it.” Finally we settled on…
I had just finished two loads of the kids’ laundry and put it all neatly away, as well as organizing the soon-to-be-born’s clothes in the drawers. I hate laundry, and it was a huge accomplishment for me to have it all done and organized. Not five minutes after leaving their tidy dresser behind… Keep reading.
At my daughter’s baptism, the priest asked, “What name do you give this child?” We told him, and when the priest repeated the name, my four-year-old son pointed violently at the priest and yelled,
When my two-year-old daughter was throwing a fit, I took hold of her and looked her in the eyes, saying, “You WILL talk to Mommy nicely.”
With no hesitation, she got three inches from my face, tilted her head to the side and said
My two-year-old son was singing, or rather, belting out, the Alleluia in his best voice. The only problem was that he replaced the word “Alleluia” with…
Random chance? Prank of the fitness gods? Yes, I know I’m getting big, but seeing this on my fridge is just spooky.
When my daughter was about four, I was telling her that while we were in church everyone needs to be extra quiet. When we are, Jesus can talk to us in our hearts. And if we are quiet, we can hear Him. She said, “Okay, Mommy,” and about a minute later she said, “Oh Mommy, I hear him.” I said, “Really? What is He saying?”
Being a stay-at-home mom of little kids, my personal appearance ranks low on the priority list. When the doorbell rang around 2 p.m. and I was still in my pajamas, I was greeted by the UPS driver with the words… Keep reading.
Up front in choir performances at church, my sons have done it all as 5-6 year olds: yawning, wiggling, picking their nose, not participating, mouthing the words in an exaggerated manner. One particularly wiggly demonstration led me to feel more embarrassed than usual until a older man behind me said,…
My baby girl had a strange, red, raw area on the back of her neck. When it didn’t go away after a couple of days, I took her to the doctor. After a multitude of exams, including x-rays, the doctor said, “I have no idea what it is, but she seems to be okay.” A few days later I discovered the source of this strange malady.
I was riding the ski lift with one of my pupils, a little girl of roughly seven years. She could not keep her eyes off me. I thought it was really sweet, having a crush on her teacher, as it were.
When we reached the top and the ski lift stopped, she finally spoke to me, and what she said was magical:
I was pulling wet wipes out of the container and the wipes had kinda balled up at the bottom. One of my boys seeing me struggling, says, “Kinda hard, Miss C, huh? Just about as hard as pulling a….
My parents uncovered a test I took in, I think, 3rd grade. Here are my stellar answers to the two essay questions:
16. Name two animals that are endangered. Explain how they became endangered. Tell what you would do to keep them safe. Keep reading.
When I was a newly potty trained toddler, my parents had the misfortune of hosting a dinner party. When I, in my nicest dress and on my best behavior, of course, was introduced to the guests, I said to them, “Guess what?…”
“Because,” she replied. “I wasn’t sure, so I decided to test it…”
1. While passing a bird’s nest around for my students to touch and explore, one of my students raises her hand: “Shouldn’t we all wash our hands after we touch this?” I assured her that was the plan, and one student raises her hand, “How come we need to wash our hands after touching birds’ nests? Are there little toilets in birds’ nests?” Another student shakes his head and rolls his eyes, “No way. Birds poop on cars!”
From Parentingisfunny.wordpress.com.
When my son was about 2 1/2, he became aware, from listening to his siblings or hearing things on TV, of what we call bad words, like “shut up”, “stupid,” and “jerk.” So one day when we were in the check out line at the grocery store,
Another installment from Parentingisfunny.
When my daughter started first grade, I asked her if she was enjoying school. After her answer to the affirmative, I inquired what she liked most. “Recess” was her response. I pointed out that she has “recess” at home all the time, so why was that her favorite? Finally she declared:
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