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Bad words grandparents teach their grandchildren

April 11th, 2014 No comments

I don’t know how many times my mother said to my father during their two-week visit, “Michael, language…” Fortunately, my children didn’t add any of his colorful choices to their own vocabulary. In truth, it was Grandma who did the most damage, teaching my sweet, innocent girls the dreaded “p” word. Read more…

A sticky situation. (And a tacky title.)

April 4th, 2014 Comments off

At dinner one evening my sister noticed a small white glob adhered to her eight-year-old son’s cheek. She couldn’t understand how he got toothpaste on his face at dinner time.

“Wash that toothpaste off your face,” she told him.

“It’s not toothpaste,” he insisted.

“Then what the heck is it?” she asked. Read more…

The budding fashionista

March 28th, 2014 Comments off

My children were watching a cartoon movie. It was one that they’d seen before. As such, I was rather confused when my four-year-old daughter quickly covered her eyes during one part. Usually once they’ve seen a movie for the first time, the scary parts aren’t so scary on subsequent viewings. But when I checked the screen, I saw that it wasn’t at all a scary scene.

“What’s the matter?” I asked my daughter.

“I just can’t watch this part,” she said.

“Why not?”

I could hardly believe her answer. Read more…

All great accomplishments deserve to be known

March 20th, 2014 Comments off

When I was a newly potty trained toddler, my parents had the misfortune of hosting a dinner party. When I, in my nicest dress and on my best behavior, of course, was introduced to the guests, I said to them, “Guess what? I go poopoo and peepee on the potty now.” I’m sure they were delighted to know it.

Then, as if that weren’t enough information, while I was getting ready for bed and my parents and their friends were sitting around the dinner table, I brought my Read more…

Love is serving others…or ourselves

March 14th, 2014 Comments off

My four-year old got into her car seat and told me, “You can strap me in, Mommy, because I love you.” My six-year-old jumped into her seat and said, “I can strap myself in because I love myself!”

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You know you’re at the end of a pregnancy when

March 7th, 2014 Comments off

A pregnant woman

Your five-year-old tells you not to sit in a chair “because you might break it.”

Thanks, honey!

~Kim, mother of 4

Kim adds, “In his defense, I Read more…

You lost me at “Goodnight”

February 27th, 2014 Comments off

My 18-month-old daughter kept pointing to the full moon in the book Goodnight Moon and then at the crescent-shaped one on the wall that the cow was jumping over. My husband decided to supply her with, “Well, Sweetheart, sometimes the moon is full when the earth is not blocking it from the sun, and the crescent shape comes from when…[yada yada yada...]” When he finished he said, “Do you understand?”

She nodded her head diligently.

Then I said, “Daddy, Read more…

Taking hand-me-downs to a whole new level

February 21st, 2014 Comments off

My second oldest, Sebastian, always gets his older brother Ezra’s hand-me-downs. One day I was telling them that in heaven  we won’t need our earthly bodies, but will get new heavenly bodies. Immediately, with a look of disgust, Sebastian said, “Am I just going to get Ezra’s old one?” -Drea, mother of 4

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“I always rely on the kindness of strangers.”

February 21st, 2014 Comments off

People are totally nice to pregnant women, as well they should be. Once when I was preggers, I was at the grocery store attempting to unload my cart onto the conveyor belt while also holding a fussy child. Another mom spotted me and immediately came over to quickly unload the cart for me, saying, “I remember being in this stage of life. Please let me help you.” She wasn’t even pausing to get an “okay” from me. She sort of seemed like she was in a hurry, but wouldn’t have taken no for an answer, even if I had (stupidly) told her not to bother. She quickly got the job done, wished me the best of luck and was gone practically before I could offer my thanks. Super cool lady.

Super cool old man story: Read more…

What a tease our Founding Fathers were!

February 14th, 2014 Comments off

I asked the students in my history class to write lines from the Declaration of Independence that they were to have memorized. One student started out well, but then… Read more…