Ruth Institute Blog

If you were to ask me, the wisest rabbi now in practice is Abraham Twerski.  Here are some of his thoughts on marriage:

The Talmud says that the relationship of a husband to his wife should be “to love her as much as he loves himself, and to respect her even more than he respects himself” (Yevamos 62b). It is of interest that Rambam, in citing the Talmud, reverses the order and places respect before love. Why? Because it is unrealistic to expect that one can have so intense a love from day one. It takes time for true love to develop. However, respect is something that can begin on day one.

See what I mean.  Wisest rabbi around.

Some of his phrases are untranslated Hebrew, but I think it may be self explanatory from the context.  If not, just ask for translation in the comments, and I will answer.

These two articles about picking the right person to marry are old (here) and (here).  But they are worth reading.

Such a nice article. I did see the Superbowl, as I’m sure many of you did too. The very end when winning quarterback Drew Brees held up his son was truly the highlight. Seeing a picture of it even now brings tears to my eyes. This article is a great perspective on the significance of that moment.

The poster says, “Life. Better than lifting the Lombardi.”

by Kathryn Jean Lopez

This Super Bowl MVP would rather hold his son than the Lombardi Trophy.

‘Don’t you live for that moment right there?” Read more…

This article confirms something I have long been saying: you can learn nothing useful or accurate from the movies.

The television program Mythbusters has pretty comprehensively discredited the physics, chemistry and other “science” depicted in the movies.  Reading a good history or biography will discredit Hollywood’s take on those subjects.

But the most destructive myth that Hollywood portrays is that “love conquers all” (somehow, Hollywood confines the love that conquers all exclusively to the love that exists between two young and good looking protagonists).

People who subscribe to the romantic ideal portrayed in movies are in for a rude awakening.  This article does a good job of pointing that out.

For all the good points this article makes, I cannot believe the ignorant use of literature that characterizes it.  Romeo and Juliet did not portray some romantic ideal.  Romeo and Juliet, to the best of my recollection were two impulsive and impetuous young people who let their emotions get the best of them.  If memory serves, their relationship ended, rather poorly. Frankly, I think Romeo and Juliet can serve as an object lesson in the importance of controlling ones’ emotions when making love and marriage choices.

Perhaps a better example would have been, I don’t know, every single romantic comedy since the 1970s?

This article is terrific.

Stuart Schneiderman discusses whether you should marry young.

There is currently a huge prejudice against marrying young.  When I got married, my bride was nineteen years old.  People came out of the woodwork to discourage us from getting married with her so young.   I wish I could have shown them this article.  That was eleven years ago.  They were wrong.  Schneiderman is right.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but still, nice to see some confirmation by someone overtly stating it.

Carolyn Moynihan

A British feminist is sounding the alarm about the effects on teenagers of easy access to pornography, saying that a skewed view of sex is becoming the norm in society and the idea of intimacy is dying. Read more…

Here is a fantastically put together document on all of the far-reaching negative effects of pornography. I knew the stuff was bad, but, wow. (This article originally appeared at FamilyResearchCouncil.org.)

by Patrick F. Fagan, Ph.D. and Ruth Institute Academic Advisory Board Member

Pornography is a visual representation of sexuality which distorts an individual’s concept of the nature of conjugal relations. This, in turn, alters both sexual attitudes and behavior. It is a major threat to marriage, to family, to children and to individual happiness. In undermining marriage it is one of the factors in undermining social stability. Read more…