In the last post on the new State of Our Unions (SOU) report from the National Marriage Project we read that “the benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children”. Parents who were very generous with each other were more likely to be very happy as well. But there’s more. Generosity in having children is also part of the happiness equation. Read more…
“I hope this will be a great success. It is certainly needed!”
~Bishop Cordileone 12/4/11~
Divorce Prevention 101:
Healing Hurts & Finding Love that Lasts!
Several local parishes have decided it’s time to do something about the divorce rate within our Catholic community. And Bishop Cordileone agrees. In fact, you’ll see his full endorsement in the attached release… Read more…
An item about generosity in marriage is getting some play on the New York Times Well blog today. Tara Parker- Pope reports on the 2011 State of Our Unions report just out from the National Marriage Project.
Says the Times: Read more…
By KATHERINE ROSMAN
An invaluable source of DIY marital therapy is spending a little time in the presence of what I classify as “epic marriages”—those whose length seems to have intensified not merely the love but the camaraderie between the husband and wife.
Avoid making comparisons, even if you think they are accurate. Statements like, “I would never do a thing like that to you,” will not win you any points. Your spouse won’t believe you. Besides, you are not likely to be making sound judgements when your adrenalin is flowing. Read more…
from Rome Reports
If your marriage were a sport, which one would it be and why? It may seem like an odd question, but it definitely leads to interesting answers. In the video above people say:
Oh, what sport? Basketball. Read more…
Admit you were wrong. Owning up to your own imperfection allows you to be human. Your spouse has an opportunity to forgive you, and to connect with you, as one frail, fragile, imperfect, blundering human being to another. Read more…
This was an E-mail of the Day at Dr. Laura’s site–advice I can use, myself!
My husband and I are celebrating 40 years of marriage. People ask us how we’ve done it and we both agree, it’s the morning kiss goodbye. Sounds strange I know, but it’s the time we connect and commit every day and make a silent promise to be there for each other. Here is a poem I wrote about it: Read more…
by Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse
How science is consistent with the ancient Christian teachings
Now after all this theology and philosophy, you may be astonished by my next move. I am going to show that science now substantiates many of the important claims that Christianity has been making since the beginning. Let me begin with the most basic. The human person is meant for love. Read more…
Here’s a relevant video from the Jewish outreach organization Aish haTorah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_ez-QeYuxk&feature=share
Since it’s me posting it, you can know that the video advocates an attitude towards love and marriage that is much less romantic than that pushed on us by Hollywood and the culture.
This Washington Post piece was published last month, which, in cyber-terms now means it’s covered by the cobwebs of antiquity. But on the premise that history matters, perhaps we can still learn from this report. The Census Bureau did a report on the longevity of contemporary marriage and found some positive results: the number of longer-lasting marriages in the U.S. has risen. Read more…
by Anne Morse (no relation)
The signs are encouraging.
Thirty years ago this July, I stayed up to watch the fairy-tale wedding between a shy young pre-school teacher and the prince of Wales. Fifteen years, two children, and considerable adultery later, the fairy tale had fractured beyond repair.
This Friday, Charles and Diana’s elder son, William, 28, will marry Catherine Middleton, 29 — and such is the cynicism about royal marriages these days that bookies are already taking bets on when the royal divorce will occur. Read more…
via Carolyn Moynihan
These tips from Yahoo Canada’s “Shine” pages make pretty good sense — especially in the wake of the British royal wedding.
Accept each other. Aim for “good enough”. When the other wants to make up, accept. Accept that the grass on the other side of the fence only seems greener.Laugh a lot. Read the fine print here.
I wanted to revisit the article on Hume’s defense of marriage. There was some good stuff buried deep in the link:
Contrary to what some romantics may think, marital happiness and conjugal human love cannot be sustained by amorous or infatuating passions, Hume says, since they are by nature unstable and fleeting. “Amorous love,” he says, “is a restless and impatient passion, full of caprices and variations—arising in a moment from a feature, from an air, from nothing, and suddenly extinguishing after the same manner.” Whatever its value may be, no marriage can be sustained by it. Read more…
By B.J. and Sheila Weber
Given the failure of marriages which were previously deemed unbreakable (think royal), we offer the following 7 tips, which are hardly inclusive of everything one needs to know, but can help couples get out of the starting gate on better footing.
1. Expect Challenges Read more…
If you want to get good at something, you’ve got to tinker with it. Whether it’s mastering a new sport, a new musical instrument or trying to get stronger with a workout routine. You have to play around with the object of your interest so as to maximize growth.
But that’s not all you need. Let’s say you want to develop a better backhand in tennis. To do this, you need to practice doing backhands. But you also need some knowledge. Just picking up a racket and chopping at the ball will likely wind up being counterproductive. In the worst case, you may adopt some bad habits and practice them until they’re second nature, dooming your tennis game as a result of all of your hard work.
The same goes with marriage. Read more…
In this blog, I have often advocated that men learn how to talk to and deal with women most effectively. In my life, I have seen men lose their marriages because they did not know how to deal with their wives. I’ve watched their interactions with their wives and feared correctly for their future. I wished I could teach them what they needed to do to get better results from their interactions with their wives. I have also met single men who were frustrated in their attempts to find love and marriage because of their lack of skill in dealing with women. Having once been hopeless with women and having learned on my own what to do, I know the value of this knowledge. Read more…
from The Heritage Foundation
Marriage in popular culture has experienced its share of ups and downs, mostly the latter, in recent years. The decline of marriage has even spread to middle America, once the bedrock of healthy relationships and stable families. Men and women now increasingly forego the benefits of marriage for unstable cohabiting relationships and increasing numbers of children are born outside marriage. Despite these daunting challenges to rekindling positive popular attitudes toward marriage, the fight to restore the honor and stability of lifelong, married love is far from over. Read more…
A good, lasting marriage makes the spouses happier and healthier and increases their lifespan, compared with cohabitation. On average. That’s the net finding of a review of 148 studies in seven European countries, according to an editorial in the British Medical Journal.
So don’t let anyone kid you otherwise. A recent report from a New Zealand cohort study said that cohabiting relationships made the partners just as happy as marriage if they lasted. But they do not usually last as long as marriages, and that’s a fact. Read more…
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