Peep.
One of our critics suggested that NOM criticizes marriage abolition via redefinition but makes “not a peep” about divorce. This is, obviously, not true. It’s about to get still more laughably untrue with this post about the effects of divorce on happiness. Peep. Read more…
by William C. Duncan, director of the Marriage Law Foundation, and a Ruth Institute Board Member.
Each November, our family puts up a blank poster board on which each member of the family can list the things they are grateful for. The list ranges from the confident handwriting of my wife to the shakier marks of the younger children who are tracing something written by an older sibling or parent (mine is closer to the latter). I have not see the phrase “lifelong love” on that poster, but it is always implicit—when “mom and dad” are listed or when my wife and I write each other’s names or when the brothers and sisters list each other. Our family is thankful for lifelong love. Read more…
Here’s a good interview by the authors of a good book.
http://www.pjtv.com/?cmd=mpg&mpid=109
Some of you may be familiar with our Reel Love Challenge contest for college students. We’ve got some podcasts up for you to check out here. The contest continues until February 14, 2011.
Does this sound familiar? “My husband drives me crazy! How hard can it be to pick up a sock and put it in the laundry? I mean, it’s not like he’s actually busy–he hasn’t fixed the leaky sink that I mentioned two months ago, or mowed the lawn, or cleaned up that mess in the garage. And now that football has started, I never see him…”
I used to join in with this sort of talk. I considered it “casual complaining”–nothing serious, certainly. Sometimes I would even trot out my husband’s faults in an effort to sympathetically let a girlfriend know that her husband isn’t all that bad–all husbands “do stuff like that”. I hoped it would make her see that it really wasn’t worth complaining about. But that probably wasn’t the effect; my “complaining” ended up justifying her complaining.
Then something I heard (on the radio? at a seminar?) made me think about what I was doing to my husband. Read more…
Picture yourself five years from now. See yourself grateful that you stuck with your spouse. Researchers from the Institute for American Values followed couples in crisis who contemplated divorce. Five years later, most of those who stayed married were glad they did.
Remind yourself of this the next time you think you can’t take any more. Take a deep breath, pull your shoulders back, and keep moving forward, doing what needs to be done to make things better.
Want more marriage-saving tips? Find all 101 here.
Today, I discovered a blog called “[Expletive] Feelings.” Considering my stoic, unsentimental and unromantic outlook, I knew that I found kindred spirits in the writers of this blog. Sure enough, I found this post. It’s every kind of awesome I can think of. And more.
In it, he says just about exactly what I’ve been saying on these pages. But he says it without as much cheeky sarcasm and obscure cultural references randomly hidden among the hyperlinks. He also says it with the authority of a psychiatrist.
But, dude, check this post out:
I love my wife, and I have since we met in college. She’s also been very devoted to me, supporting my fledgling career as an artist and even taking a part-time job as my manager (on top of her full-time job, which supports us both). The problem is that, as much as I love her and as much as I’ve tried to ignore my feelings for other men, I’m pretty sure I’m actually gay. To admit that I’m gay would mean divorcing her, which would not only break her heart when all she’s ever done is sacrifice everything for me, but throw every aspect of my life, personally and professionally, into chaos. I don’t want to hurt her or lose her, and, well, I don’t want to go on welfare. My goal is to be true to both of us. Read more…
It’s a great way to keep your head clear. But does anybody care, I wonder?
It is always gratifying when research coincides with common sense and everyday experience, as in the case of a new study showing that a relationship in which sexual intimacy is delayed is more likely to endure. Read more…
Considering the posts I have written on romantic love and on sentimentality, some readers of this blog may have the mistaken impression that I am unromantic.
This is not so.
Recently, I saw a movie, the movie featured the recitation of some poetry. That got me to thinking about my wife’s upcoming birthday. So, to honor this blessed event, I have written a poem in my wife’s honor. I hope you enjoy. Read more…
I have had the misfortune to overhear conversations between women bashing their husbands. Few types of conversations make me feel more ill.
In my religion, conversations about the misdeeds of others is called “Lashon Horah.” It is one of the more serious sins. As it turns out, such conversations that women have about their husbands are not only sinful but they’re also deeply detrimental to marriage.
For instance, see this article.
At first, Layna was comforted by the fact that she wasn’t alone. It wasn’t exactly like “misery loves company,” but in her heart, the camaraderie of the complaining was nice. She sort of thought they were providing a nice service to each other. Complain to each other, spare your man the nagging. That said, she also knew none of the men were being spared any nagging. In her case at least, the more she complained to the girls, the more fire she had to take it to Josh. Read more…
Dr J is in Providence, Rhode Island with the NOM Summer Marriage Tour. (You can also listen on our podcast page.) This talk, from July 18, answers the question “Why not privatize marriage?” She’s got a pragmatic answer for a slightly utopian viewpoint.
Click here to listen!
News reports from other sources also covered our rally in print (here, here, here, here & here, here, and here) as well as with audio and video (here, here, here, and here). Some of these detail the behavior of the rainbow protestors, who were holding a counter-rally nearby, and their attempts to engage and threaten those listening to the speakers from the Summer Marriage Tour.
Recently, I posted about Professor John Gottman. He has a list of four things that predict divorce: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. He calls them the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Here’s a different sort of list. It compiles various research studies and makes predictions about the likelihood of divorce given some more exotic variables such as occupation, the status of the children, hormonal levels and even facial expression in old photographs. Read more…
This is interesting. Yet another reason having kids is a good thing.
A study showing the contagious nature of divorce among social networks has been receiving a good bit of attention this week. Not only friends, siblings and people you work with, but also friends of friends are more likely to divorce if you do. Children can protect you from this contagion (although not, apparently, from more direct causes of divorce) — the more children the better. Read more…
Dr J’s latest podcast features her latest interview with Todd Wilken over at Issues, Etc, where they discuss cluster divorce. The study they cite (spearheaded by Brown University’s Dr. Rose McDermott and available in entirety here) finds that when your friends divorce, you’re more likely to split from your spouse–75% more likely, to be specific (though children mitigate the effect somewhat). Even friends of friends have an impact. Check it out.
“Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Unless Everyone Else is Doing it Too”
In my previous post, I discussed Fred Reed’s writings. I quoted a heartbreaking scene which he wrote about the consequences of divorce and the pain of fathers being separated from their children. Divorce is awful.
In the comments Wintery Knight appreciated our take on this subject. His comments seem to show that he appreciates the dangers that our unfair divorce court system imposes upon men who want to get married. Read more…
The newest podcast, Dr J’s interview with Sacred Heart radio, is now up here. In it, she discusses how the quest for lifelong married love is hampered, not enabled, by the sexual revolution; there’s also a discussion of divorce’s effects on the current college-age student.
Prager University: The Case for Marriage
The above video is worth checking out–it brings up some interesting points on the importance of marriage.
I especially enjoyed his responses to the “it’s just a piece of paper” and “so many marriages fail” objections.
As a very experienced daddy, let me let you in on a little secret. Having a bunch of little kids running around your house is often a bit of a drag. Occasionally, having the kids around is quite a lot of a drag. And occasionally the kids’ll warm your heart. But as parents become more experienced, they probably can’t help noticing that business of the kids being a drag. Read more…
And now, what you’ve all been waiting for—the last in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage. Ladies, this one applies to you, too, so listen up! (For background, see the original post here.)
Tip #7: When men are free to talk with their wives about their sexual nature (with all of its battles and temptations), it lifts a huge burden and helps them stay faithful.
I posted some time ago an article about the high cost of college and the crippling burden of student loan debt. The article made two points that ought not to be controversial. 1) Before spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education, one ought to crunch the numbers to make sure that investment is worthwhile. 2) The burdens of student loan debt can ruin one’s life, including one’s marital prospects.
Imagine my shock when these propositions turned out to be controversial. So, in hopes of saving heartache to readers, Read more…
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