Ruth Institute Blog

There is a lot to be said for cultivating stoic virtues.  The best people in the world, as far as I’m concerned are those that are determined to bestow upon others what they need.  And they will make their own wants secondary.

The pursuit of happiness is fine.  But assigning too high a priority to happiness and pleasure makes a person into a narcissistic jerk.

This article discusses how getting married and having children can make somebody into that kind of person.

And here’s where I wonder if we ought to re-examine our commitment to happiness. It seems to me that there’s possibly some merit — if we persevere and have the sense to learn from it — in the other-orientation that is (good) parenting. It’s fine to go through life happy, in other words, but I suspect we also want to go through life without becoming big fat self-absorbed jackasses. Children really help in that regard. Read more…

The newest podcast, Dr J’s interview with Sacred Heart radio, is now up here.    In it, she discusses how the quest for lifelong married love is hampered, not enabled, by the sexual revolution; there’s also a discussion of divorce’s effects on the current college-age student.

Smart Sex

By Sam Brownback and Linda Malone-Colón


A war over the family divided liberals and conservatives in the last several decades. Now is the time to end that war and come together for a nationally urgent and common cause. With 40 percent of children born to unwed mothers today, and a growing marriage gap between wealthy and poor, we can’t afford to go on pretending that strengthening marriage is a conservative or liberal cause. Read more…

highlight:  “A new period of life is emerging in which young people are no longer adolescents but not yet adults,” Mr. Furstenberg said.

National surveys reveal that an overwhelming majority of Americans, including younger adults, agree that between 20 and 22, people should be finished with school, working and living on their own. But in practice many people in their 20s and early 30s have not yet reached these traditional milestones. Read more…

Prager University: The Case for Marriage

The above video is worth checking out–it brings up some interesting points on the importance of marriage.

I especially enjoyed his responses to the “it’s just a piece of paper” and “so many marriages fail” objections.

Might as well post this as well.

by Sheila Liaugminas

Sometimes, the Proposition 8 battle seems surreal. But then, so do other serious, emotional and intense conflicts playing out in the nation’s courts and city halls and classrooms and media, over what we knew not long ago as core Judeo-Christian traditional values. Read more…

Those faithful followers of the College and Marriage post may also be interested in this article.

by Carolyn Moynihan

It’s not exactly news, but a report from Princeton University and the Brookings Institution highlights the well-established trend of “delayed adulthood” as people in their twenties prolong their education and fail to reach the milestones of marriage and parenthood. Read more…

Many of the discussions in the comments section of this site fall into a very familiar pattern.  Take, for instance, one issue that we here at the Ruth Institute support: lifelong marriage.  Lifelong marriage means that we are not particularly fond of divorce.  (I’m sure my opinion as a Jew differs from that of Dr. J who is Catholic, but I think we can agree that divorce is, generally speaking, a bad thing).

And these discussions are usually not very productive because they are addled with illusion.

So, we don’t like divorce.  How does this play out so predictably in the comments?  And how are the comments beset by illusion?

Read more…

As a very experienced daddy, let me let you in on a little secret.  Having a bunch of little kids running around your house is often a bit of a drag.  Occasionally, having the kids around is quite a lot of a drag.  And occasionally the kids’ll warm your heart.  But as parents become more experienced, they probably can’t help noticing that business of the kids being a drag. Read more…

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for—the last in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  Ladies, this one applies to you, too, so listen up!  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #7:  When men are free to talk with their wives about their sexual nature (with all of its battles and temptations), it lifts a huge burden and helps them stay faithful.

I posted some time ago an article about the high cost of college and the crippling burden of student loan debt.  The article made two points that ought not to be controversial.  1)  Before spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education, one ought to crunch the numbers to make sure that investment is worthwhile.  2)  The burdens of student loan debt can ruin one’s life, including one’s marital prospects.

Imagine my shock when these propositions turned out to be controversial.  So, in hopes of saving heartache to readers, Read more…

I don’t know what Raquel’s faith is, but she sure has a very good understanding of the [Catholic] Church’s teaching against contraception

Once hailed as the female sex symbol Playboy deemed the “Most Desired Woman” of the 1970s, actress Raquel Welch has now taken a more critical look at the contraceptive revolution during which she shot to stardom. In a recent column for CNN, Welch rejoices in the experience of pregnancy, and laments the havoc that the free-sex ethos has wreaked on marriage and family life. Read more…

by Pat Fagan of the Family Research Council

Women in always-intact marriages who worship at least weekly are more likely to have had fewer lifetime sexual partners than those in other family structures who never worship. According to the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), women in always-intact marriages who attend religious services at least weekly have had, on average, 2.42 lifetime sexual partners, followed by women in always-intact marriages who never worship (4.71), those in other family structures who worship at least weekly (5.51), and those in other family structures who never worship (9.07). Read more…

NOM Marriage Protector Award

NOM Chairwoman Maggie Gallagher presents the Marriage Protector awards to Bishop Charles E. Blake and Women’s Leader, Mother Willie Mae Rivers, of the Church of God in Christ convention in Los Angeles, June 2010.

Here is the sixth in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #6:  Have good men as your male friends.  Men take their cues (learn how to behave) from other men.  If you have guys around you who are fooling around, that’s not going to help your chances of being faithful.

…to be continued… (only one more tip left!)

Here is the fifth in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #5:  One of the reasons that men will have an affair (other than the sex itself) is the excitement of it.  Therefore, have excitement in other ways.  (This could be sports, hobbies, etc.)

…to be continued…

Here is the fourth in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #4:  Use your brain and avoid temptation.  If you’re on a business trip, it’s not a good idea to sit in the bar at the hotel.  The more time you spend with someone you find attractive, the greater the chances of something happening.

…to be continued…

Ruth Institute Executive Director Jamie Gruber is an exhibitor at this massive conference of African American women, of the Church of God in Christ, held in LA this year. Jamie tells me this crowd of mature African American women recieves our message of lifelong married love with great enthusiasm.
It is my understanding that Maggie Gallagher, the Chairwoman of the Board of NOM (our parent organization) presented Marriage Protector Awards to the General Supervisor of the organization, Mother Willie Mae Rivers and Bishop Charles E. Blake, Sr.

Mother Rivers’ bio is typical of many of the stories I have heard from African Americans of her generation. Let me quote from the COGIC website.

At the age of fifteen, June 26, 1941, the very lovely Willie Mae Smalls was united in holy matrimony to Mr. David Rivers. Their marriage lasted just short of 56 years until his demise May 15, 1997. This union was blessed with twelve children; two sons and daughters….Mother Rivers is a true servant of God and she touched the life of her sons, the late Robert Lee Rivers and Samuel Rivers. She continues to touch the lives of her ten daughters, twenty grandchildren, thirty-six great-grandchildren, three great-great grand, three sisters, uncles, aunts, many cousins, her community and the Grand Ole Church of God in Christ Family.

(In between this brief description of Mother Rivers’ family life, is a list of her extensive contributions to the life of her church and community: a true “community organizer,” in the best sense of the term.)

This is the face of the African-American community that the Sex Radicals do not want you to see: married young, and for a lifetime, with great fruitfulness, in every sense of the word.

Life Coach Dr. Stuart Schneiderman offers some thoughts as to why the forty year marriage of Al and Tipper Gore might have ended.

I will speculate that the Gore marriage fell apart because Al Gore fell in love with something else. Not with another woman, not with another person, but with a cause. The Gore marriage failed because Al Gore was seduced by the cause of global warming.

Al Gore did not simply come to believe in its truth; he became its most prominent Read more…

Here is the third in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #3:  Male sexual nature is not satiated by an affair.  The affair won’t satisfy your yearning to wander; the desire for variety will still exist.  It won’t keep you from wanting other women in the future.

…to be continued…