Ruth Institute Blog

Best line: “Thanks to a society that no longer believes in healthy boundaries nor explains why they are important, students on college campuses are learning to be experts in infidelity; they are studying how to lie and cheat with their bodies and affections.”

by Viviana M Garcia

Students on college campuses are learning to lie with their bodies and affections, but some are working hard for change.

Journey’s song Faithfully is always a hit on college campuses, often played at dances and sports events, and crooned in dorm rooms. The irony is that the song’s popularity reflects very little of the real state of affairs on college campuses, which have been at the center of the hedonistic world for decades.

High school seniors receive letters of admittance that are the first tangible symbol of their complete “independence”. Yet, while they leave home prepared to face a different environment, difficult professors, new friends, tough courses and a new social scene, there is one thing they are sadly unprepared for: the temptation to grasp at fleeting emotional and physical liaisons.

By definition liaisons are sexual relationships that involve unfaithfulness to a partner. Not, in the case of the typical student, to a spouse (except in a futuristic sense) but to the person he or she agrees to casually couple with, and to themselves. Thanks to a society that no longer believes in healthy boundaries nor explains why they are important, students on college campuses are learning to be experts in infidelity; they are studying how to lie and cheat with their bodies and affections.

How is that? A complete bodily union without commitment conveys the message “I will give of myself this much, but not more,” and in that sense, the person is withholding a part of him or herself: his or her full commitment and trust. The fact that this attitude is mutual does not make it any less harmful. When commitment and trust are missing, there is nothing solidifying the relationship, and the results are disastrous.

Ask any college student on your choice of campuses across the United States and few would contest that the hook-up culture has wiped out the dating scene and has emerged as primary mode of interacting among young adults. Whereas pre-marital sex was once kept secret for fear of shame and embarrassment, in particular for women, is now the rule in nearly every dorm throughout the year, without any consideration as to whether it is a healthy practice for the individual or not.

It’s interesting that students spend endless hours in libraries analyzing whether their final paper on Plato’s Republic will secure them an A and bring them one step closer to the best GPA they can attain; yet, when it comes to their deepest feelings and emotions, they do not give a moment’s thought to whether their actions will promote a favorable long-term outcome for them and their partner. According to a recent poll at Hamilton College, for example, “70% of students said it was difficult to find new long-term relationship partners”, while at Vanderbilt University students reported that “sex is ‘treated really casually’.”

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