Ruth Institute Blog

I wonder if the geniuses who thought up the idea of giving all children sex ed really thought through all of the possible consequences.

Witness the experience of one Wendy Shalit:

It is very strange to be on the receiving end of all this enlightenment, before the onset of sexual awakening. I remember when the sex educator arrived in my fourth-grade Wisconsin public elementary school classroom, carrying a Question Box, with black question marks all over it. It was our learning tool, she explained. Opening the lid, she pulled out a long white slip of paper and cheerily read: “And the first question is . . . ‘What is 69?’ “

Some boys in the corner giggled. “Now remember, boys and girls,” the woman continued, “there is absolutely nothing to giggle about! The first thing we’re going to learn in Human Growth and Development is that no question is off limits!” After what seemed like 69 attempts to explain the number 69, I raised my hand: “May I please go to the bathroom?” I hid there for awhile that day.

A week later, in time for our next sex ed class, I arrived at school toting a note from my mother. Thereafter, I sat out sex ed in the library. I always felt bad for the girls who didn’t have this escape, because after each sex ed session, as the lockers slammed and everyone prepared for the next class, the boys would pick on them, in a strange, new kind of teasing.

“Kelly, do you masturbate?” one boy would say. Then another boy would say, “It’s really natural to masturbate, you know.” Or: “Why aren’t you developing, Kelly? It’s time for you to be developing, didn’t you hear? You may be a treasure, Kelly, but you ain’t got no chest!”

And so on. Invariably, I noticed, just before the girl would burst into tears, she would always say the same thing: “The teacher says that if you tease us about what we learn in class, then you haven’t understood the principle of RESPECT.” Respect is a very important doctrine in sex education class. Indeed, sex ed teachers often use Respect, a puppet turtle, to teach elementary-school children about their “private places.” Unfortunately, the sex ed teacher would be gone by then, so no one really cared about what we had learned from Respect the turtle.

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For some reason, no one connects this kind of harassment and early sex education. But to me the connection was obvious from the start, because the boys never teased me—they assumed I didn’t know what they were referring to. Whenever they would start to tease me, they always stopped when I gave them a confused look and said, “I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I was in the library.” They would almost be apologetic: “Oh, right—you’re the weirdo who always goes to the library.” And they would pass me by.

It seems logical that children should learn about human physiology in general and the physiology of reproduction in particular.  But why do we need to teach children how to achieve sexual pleasure?  Won’t they learn that on their own?