Ruth Institute Blog

Stuart Schneiderman in this great article discusses how modern society makes the road to marriage needlessly complicated.  But here are some excellent suggestions he has for women (even women who went astray on that road) on how to navigate that road:

First suggestion: act like you respect yourself. As everyone knows, the path from Girls Gone Wild to conjugal bliss is long and arduous. I am not saying that it is impossible, just that it is very difficult. If you want to get married, do not accumulate too many experiences that you will have to live down.

Second suggestion: if you have had a bit too much fun in your past, don’t share it. It is none of his business. He does not want to hear about it. If he tells you that he wants to know, and if he swears on the Bible that he must know your past, he still does not want to hear about it.

Third suggestion: act like you respect men. If you do, most of the time they will be more than happy to be respectful toward you. And they will be far more likely to want to marry you.

Fourth suggestion: if your man is acting like a child, ask yourself whether you are treating him like a child. If you give a man most of the advantages of marriages without requiring any commitment, then you should not complain if he is happy to comply. As I said, he will not want to disappoint you.

Fifth suggestion: cultivate in yourself the virtues that you want to find in a man. If you want a man to be more responsible, be more responsible yourself. If you want a man to commit to you, honor all of your commitments to him. A woman who cannot show up on time when she swears she will do so cannot expect her man to see her as someone he can trust to honor a larger commitment.