Ruth Institute Blog

Interestingly, a study shows that those who marry between the ages of 20-24 have the lowest divorce rate. It was also suggested that “little or nothing is likely to be gained by deliberately delaying marriage beyond the mid twenties.”

David Lapp

Marriages of people in their early to mid-20s are not nearly as risky as you think.

When my very smart and relatively young girlfriend (she was then 20) first told her father she was thinking of marrying me, he refused to even hear of it. “How much college debt does he have?” he demanded. “What’s the rush? Why not wait until your career and finances are established? How do you know he’s the one?”

She sobbed, he came around, and in May 2009 Amber and I became husband and wife, when I was 22 and she was 21.

Granted, Amber’s dad had an understandably healthy dose of “father-of-the-bride” syndrome. But he also had plenty of cultural ammunition to back up his initial barrage of questions and qualms. As college-educated, professionally aspiring young adults in New York, my wife and I were bucking the prevailing social script by marrying in our early 20s. Some Penn State sociologists summarized the zeitgeist this way: “In industrial countries, young people age 18 to 25 are expected to explore their identity, work and love by delaying marriage and parenthood. . . . Those individuals who fail to postpone these family transitions miss out on better career opportunities, make poor choices on partners, and may experience problems.”

Social scientists frequently note that “early marriage” is the No. 1 predictor of divorce. Additionally, the average student graduating today has about $23,000 in debt, and money problems don’t exactly help a marriage. It’s not surprising, then, that many young couples hook up and shack up instead of tying the knot. The median age at marriage today is 28 for men and 26 for women.

So what’s a young couple, in love and committed, to do? Was our decision to marry in our early 20s shortsighted and irresponsible?

First, let’s take a closer look at that term “early marriage.” While it’s true that teenage marriages are a significant predictor of divorce, it turns out that marriages of people in their early to mid-20s are not nearly as much at risk. According to a 2002 report from the Centers for Disease Control, 48% of people who enter marriage when under age 18, and 40% of 18- and 19-year-olds, will eventually divorce. But only 29% of those who get married at age 20 to 24 will eventually divorce—very similar to the 24% of the 25-and-older cohort. In fact, Hispanics who marry between the ages of 20 and 24 actually have a greater likelihood of marital success (31% chance of divorce) than those who first marry at age 25 and older (36% chance of divorce).

Further, a recent study by family scholars at the University of Texas finds that people who wed between the ages of 22 and 25, and remained married to those spouses, went on to experience the happiest marriages. While the authors caution against suggesting that 22 to 25 is the optimal marrying age for everyone, their finding does suggest that “little or nothing is likely to be gained by deliberately delaying marriage beyond the mid twenties.”

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