An item about generosity in marriage is getting some play on the New York Times Well blog today. Tara Parker- Pope reports on the 2011 State of Our Unions report just out from the National Marriage Project.
By KATHERINE ROSMAN
An invaluable source of DIY marital therapy is spending a little time in the presence of what I classify as “epic marriages”—those whose length seems to have intensified not merely the love but the camaraderie between the husband and wife.
Avoid making comparisons, even if you think they are accurate. Statements like, “I would never do a thing like that to you,” will not win you any points. Your spouse won’t believe you. Besides, you are not likely to be making sound judgements when your adrenalin is flowing. Read more…
from Rome Reports
Tip # 92 from “101 Tips for a Happier Marriage: You can improve your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t change a bit”
Admit you were wrong. Owning up to your own imperfection allows you to be human. Your spouse has an opportunity to forgive you, and to connect with you, as one frail, fragile, imperfect, blundering human being to another. Read more…
This was an E-mail of the Day at Dr. Laura’s site–advice I can use, myself!
My husband and I are celebrating 40 years of marriage. People ask us how we’ve done it and we both agree, it’s the morning kiss goodbye. Sounds strange I know, but it’s the time we connect and commit every day and make a silent promise to be there for each other. Here is a poem I wrote about it: Read more…
by Anne Morse (no relation)
The signs are encouraging.
Thirty years ago this July, I stayed up to watch the fairy-tale wedding between a shy young pre-school teacher and the prince of Wales. Fifteen years, two children, and considerable adultery later, the fairy tale had fractured beyond repair.
This Friday, Charles and Diana’s elder son, William, 28, will marry Catherine Middleton, 29 — and such is the cynicism about royal marriages these days that bookies are already taking bets on when the royal divorce will occur. Read more…
via Carolyn Moynihan
These tips from Yahoo Canada’s “Shine” pages make pretty good sense — especially in the wake of the British royal wedding.
Accept each other. Aim for “good enough”. When the other wants to make up, accept. Accept that the grass on the other side of the fence only seems greener.Laugh a lot. Read the fine print here.
I wanted to revisit the article on Hume’s defense of marriage. There was some good stuff buried deep in the link:
Contrary to what some romantics may think, marital happiness and conjugal human love cannot be sustained by amorous or infatuating passions, Hume says, since they are by nature unstable and fleeting. “Amorous love,” he says, “is a restless and impatient passion, full of caprices and variations—arising in a moment from a feature, from an air, from nothing, and suddenly extinguishing after the same manner.” Whatever its value may be, no marriage can be sustained by it. Read more…
7 Tips for Every Newly Married Couple From Prince William and Kate Middleton to the Average Jane and Joe
By B.J. and Sheila Weber
Given the failure of marriages which were previously deemed unbreakable (think royal), we offer the following 7 tips, which are hardly inclusive of everything one needs to know, but can help couples get out of the starting gate on better footing.
1. Expect Challenges Read more…