Rugby buddies get married: what’s the problem?

September 11th, 2014 Comments off

In this story from New Zealand, two male friends (who are not gay, by the way) are about to marry each other.  Part of their motive:

Engineering student Mr. McIntosh, 23, and teacher Mr. McCormick, 24, will tie the knot to win a “The Edge” radio station competition and a trip to the 2015 Rugby World Cup in England.

BFF! Let's get married! Why Not?

BFF! Let’s get married! Why Not?

Also, they really like each other. They have been best buds since they were six years old.  They expect the marriage to last at least 2 years.  Marriage has been an “easy in, easy out” proposition throughout the industrialized world since the advent of no-fault divorce. So why shouldn’t these guys get married for a chance to win a cool prize?

Gay rights groups are offended.

Otago University Students’ Association Queer Support coordinator Neill Ballantyne, of Dunedin, said the wedding was an “insult” because marriage equality was a “hard fought” battle for gay people. “Something like this trivializes what we fought for.”

Sorry Neill. No go. You evidently did not realize that when you changed the law, you changed it for everyone. Two men can get married for any reason they want.  The law does not require them to prove that they are actually “gay,” or that they “love each Read more…

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Family Secrets and Embarrassment

September 10th, 2014 Comments off

A note from a Facebook friend prompted me to reflect on family secrets and their potentially toxic impact on relationships.

I want you to know why I have not responded to your call to “share our stories.” I cannot tell the whole of my story until some in it are no longer living- I guess we all keep our secrets to some extent. I just wanted to let you know I’m paying attention, even if there is no evidence of it. Keep the faith!! 

Family Secrets: hush!

Family Secrets: hush!

Here is my response to her:

Thank you my friend. This means a lot to me.  I do not know that I would speak out so boldly, if my own parents were still living.

Having said that, let me encourage you to consider this:

Family secrets can be poisonous. Be on the lookout for situations where hidden information is burdening someone unnecessarily. Sharing parts of your story could be very healing for younger members of your family.

Sometimes, younger family members have suspicions about some Forbidden Topic. No one is willing to talk about the subject at all. The suspicions never get confirmed or denied. The Read more…

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Helping a Victim, without Implicating the Perpetrator

September 10th, 2014 Comments off

I recently got this message from a Facebook friend.

Just so you know, I would “like” and “share” all the divorce stories that you’re posting- only it would compromise some family relationships I have that I am responsible for. God is good and has afforded much forgiveness and reconciliation- I do not want to challenge their faith or give away hard earned ground. I just wanted to let you know I’m paying attention, even if there is no evidence of it. That means others are probably doing the same. Keep the faith!!

Here is my response to her.  What do you think about this issue?

A word from you could help, no matter how old she is now.

A word from you could help, no matter how old she is now.

Thank you my friend. This means a lot to me. I hope you are right that others are quietly paying attention.

I sense that you are concerned that your loved ones are not ready to look too closely at the harms their divorces caused others. You want to keep them close to you and to God. You do not want to drive them away with more reality than they can stand.

I understand. You may very well be correct about this in this particular instance. I trust your judgment.

I’m just guessing here, but maybe this is a situation of a divorce now regretted? Or a divorce that caused harm to others, perhaps a child, and that looking at that harm would be too Read more…

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Do you Stand for the Family?

September 10th, 2014 Comments off
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Stand for the Family next week!

September 9th, 2014 Comments off

rally

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A personal Note: The Six Minutes that Changed My Life

September 9th, 2014 Comments off

This was written by Mary Summerhays, of the organization, Celebration of Marriage

I’m actually an artist, not an activist.  I paint themes about gender and stumbled upon some youtube videos of a fascinating speaker on the subject- Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse.  I was instantly hooked.  This video had my jaw on the floor. I continued to watch everything I could find, Including this 4 part series, and finally this one,  that brought me to tears.  I could no longer sit still.     Read more…

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Join us at the Stand for the Family Conference

September 8th, 2014 Comments off

See more and show your support by liking the Stand for the Family facebook page at:  https://www.facebook.com/StandForFamiliesWorldwide?ref=hl

Stand for Family logo

You can also visit the website here: www.stand4family.org.

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They know us too well

September 6th, 2014 Comments off

I had the misfortune of walking into the kitchen just in time to hear my three-year-old son explaining to his father, “That’s not the refrigerator; that’s the door for snacks for Mommy.”

-Kimberly, mother 2

Read more funny parenting stories.

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Tip #3 from “101 Tips for a Happier Marriage”

September 4th, 2014 Comments off

Remain in solidarity with the other person, especially when he or she is suffering or struggling. Love sits by the bedside, even when it is painful to watch.

"till death do us part"

“till death do us part”

 

Be present and available to your spouse when they are going through a challenging time. It might be frustrating to listen to your spouse complain.  It might be sad to watch them in pain. Sometimes we feel helpless because we want to DO something. But remember: your presence communicates to both of you, your commitment to the relationship.

That is Tip #3 from 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage. 

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New podcasts up!

September 3rd, 2014 Comments off

Hello everyone–hope everyone enjoyed the last “official” weekend of summer (here in the northern hemisphere).

We’ve got some new podcasts to keep you up-to-date on the marriage and life happenings in the news. Dr J spoke recently with Todd Wilkin on Issues, Etc. about several topics: California recently strengthened the requirements governing insurers’ provision for elective abortions, Utah’s polygamy ban is undergoing a court challenge that seems to be getting somewhere, and California’s legislature is also considering a “gay birth certificate” bill, AB 1951. Dr J was also on The Drew Mariani Show to discuss California’s new “yes means yes” consent law in the larger context of the sexual revolution.

Check ‘em out.

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