Ruth Institute Blog

A young man at Rutgers University committed suicide. His roommate had filmed him having sex with another man, and posted that film on the internet. In the wake of this tragic incident, the question of electronic sexual harassment has become more urgent. This week’s quiz is about the phenomenon known as “sexting.” The term “sexting” can include sending suggestive photos, videos or messages of yourself, receiving messages with images of someone you know, and receiving sexually suggestive messages that were originally intended for someone else. Such images can become the basis for harassment, teasing and bullying. At least two high-profile suicides of teen girls have been attributed to the fall-out from sexting.

So, how common is “sexting” among teens? Read more…

Caitlin Flanagan has an interesting article in the Atlantic.  In it, she discusses the narrative some proponents of the sexual revolution had in mind when they promoted the new sexual morays to the next generation of girls.  That narrative can be called “The Boyfriend Story.”  What is the “Boyfriend Story”?  It is “the gossamer-wrapped quest for true and perfect love.”

Flanagan describes how her mother was one of those who hoped her daughter would attain happiness via the “Boyfriend Story.”  (Emphasis added).

[M]y mother became one of those kindly, kooky older ladies whose dedication to volunteering at Planned Parenthood bordered on the unseemly, given the distance between their age and their own need for the services provided. She was part of a generation of women who helped build an infrastructure not just of attitudes but of medical services (from birth control to abortion) rendered to teenage girls and built on a host of assumptions: that a girl is capable of great sexual desire, and that this desire should not cause her to lose her chance at an education or an independent life; that a huge number of modern mothers were committed to helping their daughters incorporate sexual lives within a normal teenage girlhood, one in which sex did not cleave the girl instantly and permanently from her home and her family. These mothers were willing to run as much interference as was needed to make these things possible—with dads, who tended not to be as enthusiastic about the prospect of a cherished daughter’s becoming sexual; with PTAs, which often balked at the kind of sex education these beliefs would require; with the long-entrenched double standard that said a boy could have sex and retain his good reputation, but a girl who went all the way was ruined. Read more…

An awful lot of nonsense has been said about the supposed “double standards” between the sexual histories of men and the sexual histories of women.  The discussion of sexuality is full of it like so much verbal ipecac.  The typical whine goes like this “why is it that a man who’s been with a hundred women is a ‘stud’ while a woman who’s been with the same number of men is a “slut’?”

The short answer is because men value the sexual loyalty of women more than women value the sexual loyalty of men.  This also explains why hooking up is a much worse idea for women than it is for men.  Because a woman’s value as a lifelong partner for marriage diminishes with each passing dalliance.  For men, not so much.  This does not mean that hooking up is a good idea for men, just that it’s not as bad an idea as it is for women. Read more…

I’m pretty sure a couple of movies have been made with topics similar to this. The difference here, of course, is this woman’s plan was not for the sake of comedic effect.

by Carolyn Moynihan

Maybe something is changing for the better out there among Generation Y. A British journalist in her early 30s has written a book about renouncing sex for a year in order to get control of her emotional life. It’s called Chastened. Read more…

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for—the last in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  Ladies, this one applies to you, too, so listen up!  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #7:  When men are free to talk with their wives about their sexual nature (with all of its battles and temptations), it lifts a huge burden and helps them stay faithful.

Here is the sixth in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #6:  Have good men as your male friends.  Men take their cues (learn how to behave) from other men.  If you have guys around you who are fooling around, that’s not going to help your chances of being faithful.

…to be continued… (only one more tip left!)

A monumental amount of nonsense has been written and distributed on college campuses on the subject of rape.  I am going to link below a site containing the best advice I have ever seen on crime prevention.  If you’re a young woman in college, or you know a young woman who is in college, this advice is well worth taking seriously.

Before I continue, I must add that one of the most unpleasant aspects of writing about topics such as this one is that the knee jerk reaction of some people upon hearing this type of advice is that it constitutes “blaming the victim.”  Such accusations miss the point.  One has to admit Read more…

Here is the fifth in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #5:  One of the reasons that men will have an affair (other than the sex itself) is the excitement of it.  Therefore, have excitement in other ways.  (This could be sports, hobbies, etc.)

…to be continued…

Here is the fourth in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #4:  Use your brain and avoid temptation.  If you’re on a business trip, it’s not a good idea to sit in the bar at the hotel.  The more time you spend with someone you find attractive, the greater the chances of something happening.

…to be continued…

Here is the third in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #3:  Male sexual nature is not satiated by an affair.  The affair won’t satisfy your yearning to wander; the desire for variety will still exist.  It won’t keep you from wanting other women in the future.

…to be continued…

As promised, here is the next in a continuing series of tips from Dennis Prager, helping men to remain faithful in marriage.  (For background, see the original post here.)

Tip #2:  Use your head—your mind has to rule, and your mind knows the terrible price you will have to pay for an affair (whether you are caught or not caught; whether there is a divorce or not).  Stop and ask, “Is this sexual excitement tonight worth the price I will pay?”

…to be continued…

Every Wednesday, the second hour of The Dennis Prager Radio Show is The Male/Female Hour, “dedicated to highlighting the many challenges between the sexes”.  A recent show had as its topic “Advice to men on how to stay faithful”.  (audio podcast here)

Prager discussed seven tips, “none of which involve religion or morality” (as he put it)—just practical, rational reasons for a man not to give in to his nature, whether on a business trip or on the internet.  They are not in any particular order of importance; just some good advice.  Here is the first in a series of posts on his advice to men:

Tip #1:  If you do have an affair (or a one-night stand), you are then going to be hiding something from your wife.  In general, the more you hide from your spouse, the less close you are.  (This is true even in non-sexual matters.)  You will spend a large amount of time and energy thinking about how you can avoid having her find out.

…to be continued…

People who have heard my lectures may remember me referring to Discount Sex. I explain the concept of Discount Sex, or WalMart Sex in this video clip.

Way to break it down. This is what they wanted to do. This is what they did. Thanks a lot. I miss the 50′s (had I lived during them).

by Joanna Bogle

As possibly one of its last acts as government, British Labour bids to make sex education compulsory.

Sex education. The very words strike a note of gloom. Long, long ago, back in the 1950s when schoolgirl pregnancies were a rarity, and anyone who gave children contraceptives and urged them to enjoy “safe sex” would have been arrested, things looked different. Read more…

Yet another fantastic way to screw up kids.

Carolyn Moynihan

The sexualisation of children’s entertainment has reached a new low with the arrival of an online game in which kids can “hook up” and play strippers and prostitutes with avatars. Read more…

Way to go, PM! Way to voice your opinion even when it’s so horribly unpopular. . . and when you’re right.

Carolyn Moynihan

Horrors! The next prime minister of Australia might be a man who advocates virginity for young people.

Here is this week’s shock-horror story from Australia: the country’s next prime minister might be a man who advises his daughters not to throw their virginity away on just anyone. Fair go, that’s what he dared to say during an interview with a women’s magazine. You probably heard the resulting outcry in America, above the President’s State of the Union address, above the iPad hysteria: ‘What a chauvinist! What a pontificator! What a hypocrite!’ — to recite only the more flattering epithets. Read more…

My money is on the horrible movies and tv shows geered toward teens. Just a preview for an American Pie movie was enough to make me want to retch.

Charlie Butts – OneNewsNow -

Teen pregnancies were up three percent in 2006, which is the latest reporting period available. Proponents of comprehensive sex education are blaming abstinence programs for the increase. Read more…

The Internet TV show, Bump+ is up and running. The Party reveals more about Hailey, Katie, and Denise, and follows their individual stories as they struggle to make a decision about their unintended pregnancies.  New episodes will follow every Monday and Thursday through March 15, 2010.  And of course, the conversation between viewers continues around the clock.

Marni Soupcoff points out that the main concern about sexting is that kids have gotten the idea to do it in the first place. Here’s my favorite excerpt:

“Sexting is just the silent canary in the coal mine. It’s the sign, not the cause, of the dangerously cavalier attitudes to sex and sexuality that have been building up in teen culture for years now. The only sure-fire cure is a full-blown evacuation — a complete retreat from the mainstream movies, videos, video games and songs of the day that sexualize kids before they’ve even reached puberty (or, in some cases, potty training).”

“Sexting” isn’t a good idea. That’s just common sense. At least it should be — the pitfalls of using a cell phone to send nude photos or sexually suggestive messages speak for themselves. Unless you are a teenager. (Or Tiger Woods, but that’s another column.)

This, I am told, is why the Canadian Centre for Child Protection has launched a website and pilot program, to be used in 100 schools, to warn young people off sexting.

The result — TextED.ca — offers up discussion pages and specific guidelines for “safe texting.” The latter include the reasonable, Read more…

We’ve touched on this topic before, but here’s a little more info. Disturbing.

Charlie Butts – OneNewsNow -

Pew Research Center has released results of a survey on “sexting,” the practice mostly among youth of transmitting nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves via cell phone. Read more…