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Popping Valtrex Like M&M’s

June 8th, 2010

Reality TV is a sewer.  And I don’t just think that because I’m an EEEEEVIL right wing curmudgeon.  Even the guy’s at the E! network television series The Soup think so.

[T]he show [The Soup]  generally reinforces traditionalist values.  Bear with me here.  Admittedly, when partisan snipes sneak into the script, they’re usually aimed at Republicans.  And yes, I’m aware that Keith Olbermann is a huge Soup fan, which does give me pause.  Nevertheless, the vast majority of The Soup’s content features McHale flogging the entertainment industry for its gutter values.  He repeatedly rips celebrities over their insufferable self-importance-a theme that conservatives can appreciate.  (That McHale reserves a special brand of antipathy for Tyra Banks wins him extra points).  He also blasts the depraved, over-sexed “stars” of reality shows who seem willing to jump into bed with whomever it takes just to extend their 15 minutes of fame by a few seconds.  His frequent references to sexually transmitted diseases are always good for a chuckle, but they also subtly remind the audience of how disgusting promiscuity and its consequences can be.  While many of these dreadful shows actually celebrate the ignorance of those who appear on them, McHale will have none of it; slapping down this type of foolishness with added gusto.

The implicit message behind the derision is that it really isn’t cool to be myopic, rude, slutty, or ignorant.  The unseemly behavior glorified on these shows may buy someone a few weeks in the limelight, but will serve that person very poorly in the long term.

Imagine my amusement to see this article about the cast of the reality series Jersey Shore.  It documents the behind the scenes consequences of the slutty behavior of the cast.

In a Q&A with “The Hollywood Reporter” this week, SallyAnn Salsano, creator of MTV’s “Jersey Shore”, divulged that most of the show’s stars take Valtrex, a herpes medication. “We hand it out like M&Ms,” Salsano said. “‘Hey kids, it’s time for Valtrex!’ It’s like a herpes nest. They’re all in there mixing it up,” she said.

The author even gives a script for parents to use when discussing sexual mores with your kids.

Here is a script you can use: “Hi honey, how was your day? Pass the peas. Thanks. Guess what – I heard today that Snookie and The Situation both have genital herpes. In fact, all of the Jersey Shore kids do. They pop Valtrex like M&Ms. Annie from Gather told me. And you know how they got it? Well of course you do. You watch the show. Well, anyway, I just wanted you to know this before you go on your beach trip next month with your friends. Sex gives you herpes – sometimes even sex with a condom. Oh, and if you flip up your shirt for a creepy guy with a video camera, chances are, you’re going to be in those Girls Gone Wild commercials that run at 11pm on Comedy Central. This is some delicious spaghetti, isn’t it?”

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