Wasting the gift…
When Elizabeth Wurtzel was young and beautiful, she had her pick of men. And, it seems, from her article in Elle Magazine (analyzed here by Stuart Schneiderman) she made some poor choices as to what to do with that gift of beauty. Rather than settle down with “Gregg,” whom she found boring, she pursued drama and excitement with a line of men unsuitable for her and unsuitable for marriage.
Beauty has been her friend, but she did not have to do very much to have and to hold it. Beauty has given her value in the sexual marketplace, and she has exploited it mercilessly.
But, beauty is also a perishable commodity, one that needs to be deployed judiciously if one is going to use it to make a life. It seems that Wurtzel had to go to law school and to work as an attorney to discover the meaning of: judicious.
Even before the term entered the lexicon Wurtzel was a queen of the hook-up culture. She used her beauty to collect men. It has not been a happy experience. In her words: “Men have piled up in my past, have fallen trenchantly through my life, like an avalanche that doesn’t mean to kill, but that is going to bury me alive just the same.”
Clearly, there were a number of one-night-stands, but more often Wurtzel was trying and failing to sustain a relationship. The relationships failed because there was more drama than affection, more chaos than order, more trauma than routines.
It seems that young women have a bit of a dilemma. Perhaps finding a decent man and settling down is not exciting. But, if you take Wurtzel’s experience as your guide, it may be the best way to achieve long term happiness.
Reading Wurtzel’s story, I could not help but think of those lyrics to that old song “Heat of the Moment”:
“And when your looks are gone and you’re alone
How many nights you sit beside the phone.
What were the things you wanted for yourself.
Teenage ambitions you remember well.”