‘I was never your father’ – DNA testing and what it can do to children
More example of how children are affected by the poor decisions of their parents. Seems they are so often the last ones to be thought of.
We are used to the sad stories of children who have never known their fathers, and of those whose fathers become estranged through divorce; but there are a growing number of children who risk losing the only father they have ever known because he discovers he is not their father after all.
The New York Times Magazine ran a long article recently on the issue of men taking DNA tests to establish paternity status when they are in dispute with their wife, or when they have been named as the father of a child under welfare rules. Their aim is to avoid paying child support.
The biggest issue here — especially when it involves the break-up of a family after a number of years — is the devastating effect on a child of what can amount to losing a father twice over. In one instance, a divorced man walked out of his putative daughter’s life when she was 11 and refused all contact with her. Now 20, she says:
“It kind of wrecked my self-esteem,” she says. “Even now, I worry about being a burden on people. I don’t want to be in the way. I don’t want to be anybody’s problem. It’s made me apprehensive about getting attached to people, because one day they’re there and the next day maybe they won’t be. You can’t help but be careful.”
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